The Day I Wasn’t Expecting

Tomorrow is a very big day. And more than likely, some tears will be shed. Fortunately, they will be happy tears…. For the most part.

It is one of the days that I was not expecting to have this year. I was not expecting to have my first Mother’s Day with a living child. I was not expecting to be able to participate in parent dedication at our church.

When we first found out we were pregnant, we were really excited when the preschool director at our church gave us the envelope of information about parent dedication. We were so excited to be able to dedicate to living our lives in a way to teach our future child about the Lord. Then that day in October came that shattered our hopes and dreams. We put that envelope with information in a place where we wouldn’t be able to see it to remind us that it wouldn’t be happening this time around. We completely took that off of our radar.

It wasn’t until about a month ago or so when they reminded the church about signing up for parent dedication that we realized, “Hey! We can do that!!!” I am so beyond thrilled that we even get the chance to do this. I wish there were words to even explain how joyful and grateful that I am to be able to participate this time around. I am so blessed that God has given us this much time with Annalise to where we are able to do this. “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise…” (Psalm 145:3)!

Then on top of the amazing experience of being able to participate in parent dedication, it’s Mother’s Day! It’s like a 2-for-1 special for us!

If you would have asked me back in October through mid-February how I was going to handle Mother’s Day without my child here with me, I don’t know how I would have responded. I wasn’t even thinking about that back then because I was just so focused on how to handle the grief and loss that we would have to experience. I didn’t want to think about those types of days when happy things were supposed to be taking place.

So this Mother’s Day- I’m sure I will shed some tears. Mainly because I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful to have Annalise here with me on this day. But also because, even though I have not experienced the pain of losing my child yet, I have gone through the process of thinking I would.

So… my heart goes out to all the women who have lost a child- whether it was early in the pregnancy, later on, or sometime after birth. Those children are not forgotten. You, as a mother, are not forgotten. I so admire these women. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to be apart of this amazing group of women that I can prove that God is faithful through it all… that He is so, so good and that He is worthy to be praised. I pray that He is glorified through everything.

My heart also goes out to the women who don’t have children or who are incapable of having their own. I pray that you find strength through this hard day and remember that you are so loved and so valuable. There is always a place and a future for you. Thank you for being some of the strongest women I know and reminding me that God’s plan for our lives is the best plan and that He is in complete control. There is always hope.

My heart is so happy for the women who do get to experience this day with their children though. You are more blessed than you probably realize. It’s so easy to take things for granted when you are surrounded by the love of your children everyday… but I encourage you to just take the time tomorrow to pray for those people who can’t or won’t be able to spend the day with loved ones. Even for all the people who don’t get to spend Mother’s Day with their own mothers.

Because tomorrow is more focused on parent dedication for us, Kev decided that today was the day we, as a family of 3, would celebrate Mother’s Day. So after taking my “morning nap”, I woke up with this site right next to me:

She even signed the card for me! 😜

 

The ring is perfect.

   

Our 3 birthstones, with hers in the middle, will always be a constant reminder that she has brought Kev and I together in a way we never thought would happen. Through our journey with her, we have learned so much about love, joy, peace, faithfulness, hope, perseverance, the sovereignty of God, and so on. We never thought we would be put on a journey like this together but she has made our world a much better place. ☺️ She’s a constant reminder that when we put our hope in the Lord, when we cast our cares on Him… His plan is always perfect and He is always in control.

It’s funny how God works sometimes. For the last several days, I have been singing a song to Annalise that I have not heard since I was a little girl. (I sing to her when she is falling asleep and for some reason, this little tune has been helping calm her down and putting her to sleep faster.)

It goes like this:

“Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary; Pure and holy, tried and true. With thanksgiving, I’ll be a living sanctuary for You.”

What a reminder!!!

Our purpose in life is to live each day giving Him the glory and honor that is due. No matter what may come our way, no matter the circumstance, no matter the trials we face… We should be giving Him the praise and worshipping Him.

We should be saying- “Lord, prepare my life to be a sacred and holy place of worship. Help me to give thanks in all circumstances so that I may bring You glory.” 

I pray that everyone reading this has a blessed weekend, whatever your situation may be.

Now that I have made you read the heavy stuff that was laid on my heart first, we can get to the part that everybody loves: 😉😜

Updated pictures of our little celebrity. (I can officially call her that now that she has been on the local news! 😉)

Anyways… as of May 8th, Annalise now weighs 9lbs 9oz. She is getting even more sassier and even more vocal. (We love it!!!) Like I always say… We are so incredibly blessed.

And now the time is here! Enjoy!

Have a blessed weekend!

—anchoring our hope to the one who has already scripted the perfect ending—