Bittersweet

First of all, I hope everyone had a great and blessed Thanksgiving! Holidays are so fun when they are spent with the ones you love. This Thanksgiving, Kevin and I went to my hometown to spend Thanksgiving with my side of the family. It was so great seeing everyone and being able to all be together in one place. We took this opportunity to take a family photo which hasn’t happened in years! Here’s a preview of our time together:

 

While we were doing the photos, my family was like “Hey! Let’s take a few of you, Kevin, and Annalise!” So here we are at 24 weeks and 2 days:

 

(She is growing right on track and really moving around the last couple weeks! I absolutely love feeling her kick me all throughout the day. My next OB appointment is December 10th. I can’t wait!)

Anyways….

During Thanksgiving it’s hard not to be thankful for anything and everything. But this Thanksgiving, something really stuck out to me. We live in a society that takes SO much for granted. How much time do we as people really, truly think about and appreciate every little thing? Once a year? Just because there’s a holiday to do that? We are such ungrateful people. Thankfulness should be a way of life, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths. Right?

But right now… I’m going to be honest. I had a love/hate relationship with life during Thanksgiving with my family. As most of you know, my sister has a little girl who is almost one. I absolutely love this age of a child. When they are learning to walk, beginning to talk, relatively always happy and laughing. For some reason, this trip home, my niece was attached to Kevin. She always just wanted to sit with him and be with him. I mean look at this:

 

It was so stinking adorable. It melted my heart. How could you not love seeing that? How could you take such a sweet time for granted? Oh yeah. You remember that you are pregnant with a child who may not make it to that age. That’s how this time became so bittersweet for me.

I absolutely loved seeing Kev interact with her. Seeing how great of a daddy he is going to be. Seeing how happy he was to have the opportunity to have that time with her. But it was almost painful to watch that happen, for several days, knowing that we may not get that opportunity with our first child.

It was right then and there, in that moment, that I realized how thankful I should be and how easy it is to become ungrateful. Being ungrateful is a selfish desire. Being ungrateful keeps us in the pain of our current circumstances. Who wants that? Why do we do that to ourselves?

I realized just how much I have been given. How blessed I truly am. I realized that expressing thankfulness helps me to remember that God is in control. The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21). In all circumstances, situations, and trials, God is in control. He knows what He is doing. I just need to trust Him and give thanks for everything.

So, as I’m sitting here typing this, with Annalise kicking me like crazy, I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, reaching out to us, reading our story, and encouraging us. You are appreciated more than you know. We don’t take the time enough to tell you how grateful we are for all of you.

I realize that some days are harder than others, with not knowing what to expect and how everything is going to turn out…. but, I am truly happy that God put me in this circumstance. I am constantly learning new things, realizing things I should have years ago, and relying more on God than I ever thought possible. Psalm 28:6-7 says:

“Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.”

I challenge this verse to be a way of life for myself and for all of you. Be grateful and give Him the praise.

I am so grateful for this unexpected journey now more than ever before. I am so thankful that God chose us to be Annalise’s parents.

With all the heavy stuff now said, the waiting game for updated news on Annalise is still going. Doctors don’t want to do any more “testing” until we are further along and and she is bigger. By testing, I mean rechecking the brain by doing an MRI to better look at the severity of the damage done. Normally they don’t do this until about 30-32 weeks along. So we still have about 6-8 more weeks before that may take place.

Until then, I enjoy feeling her move and watching my belly grow!

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One comment

  1. Connie Weber · November 30, 2014

    You are truly a writer and you write from the heart. I will tell you from your words you have made me think about being more thankful for all circumstances good and bad. Thank you for sharing your world and helping others see how much we do take for granted!! We love hearing about your journey!

    Like

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